Much Needed Update

Every now and then I figure I should add another entry to this thing. I like being able to go back and read my thoughts as I went through my freshman year...but the fact that I was so inconsistent limits how well this blog epitomizes and summarizes my college expereince. It does little justice to the apparent speed of the quarters and my own personal development. So many things have happened, ups and downs, swelling and sinking like the waves I glimpse outside my window.

I have yet to write about my track season because I haven't had one. I am bitter and disappointed by this. I strained my hamstring 6 weeks before the fist race and kept running through it until I really hurt it. I have now been nursing this injury for about 4 months now, give or take. It has essentially been a series of of unfortunate events aided by misdiagnosis and miscommunication. Nevertheless today I made the very hard decision to not race at all this season. Even though I knew it was inevitable, and invariably the correct decision for both my physical and mental well being (running as poorly as I think I would've, would've been devastating. I think), I am still sad and angry that this injury has affected me so profoundly this season...I think the disappointment stems a lot from my hurt pride too, because my choice feels a bit like quitting. And I don't like to quit. But this is me being dramatic. I'm fine and this is a relatively minor problem 'in perspective'.

Regarding school, last quarter I received my first B, which was disappointing, but bound to happen. Again disappointment created entirely by my wounded pride. I hope I at least learned a bit of humility from all this.

Now to the fun stuff. Spring Quarter, true to its name, promises new beginnings, fun, and sunshine. We've already had Muirstock (an outdoor concert in front of my dorm), and Sungod looms just around the corner. As for beautiful beach weather...it has been taunting us, sunny only when we can't go to the beach. But I know that will change soon enough. The gloominess hasn't stopped us from enjoying the beach! but I'll agree some sunshine will be much appreciated.

Let's see, Modern family nights are still very much a thing. A new episode means a small gathering in my room. My suitemates and I have grown closer with the promise of living together in apartment next year agin. Here's hoping we get a good bid time!Classes are fun. I LOVE my Victorian Lit class (I'm such a nerd. I'm actually looking forward to write the paper) and the other classes, I'm doing well in.

And lastly, I have maintained my friendships with my friends back home. We've made it almost 9 months! Since this was a big fear of mine, I'm glad that it has assuaged thus far. Surprise and planned visits have made me so happy; Anna, Jorge, Josh and Jasue. Thanks guys. It meant a lot to me.

Shout out to my little sister who I miss a whole lot.

Hmm. I think I covered everything.

Peace,
Alia

...

College is about discovering who you are. that is, if you haven't figured it out yet. who you are isn't what occupation you are going to pursue, what major you'll commit to, or what sport you do. 

it's about deciding what you will accept from others. what you will accept from yourself. and if you can respect those choices. 

Running miles

Stress

it comes in waves. and hits like the flu. Recently, my teammates have suffered from a particularly strong strain. It's weird, because I have normally been the one to stress myself  to insanity. And I am not saying that midterm week, with a recruit weekend doesn't cause me to panic...believe me it does. but maybe the years of AP and IB and 2 hour runs have prepared me to handle it better. Or maybe my class load is significantly lighter. EIther way, I am thankful. I am starting to know my teammates well enough to tell when they are stressed by the way they behave...and they are becoming comfortable enough to confide in me why they are stressed. 

For a few, their stress is not school related, but one of a more social nature. and i find a problem with that. a team needs to support one another.

we affect one another. your comments affect my mood. we miss you at dinner. we study together. live together. you seek my approval. i earned your respect. and visa versa, etcetera. so i hate to see this conflict...built on hypocrisy and fear. 

it would be better if everyone, just for one minute, thought about someone else and put someone else first. you know what they say, before you criticize someone, run a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and 

have her shoes. and man...this team sure runs some miles. but I think we need a few more under our belts.